For two Atlantic 10 head coaches, Saint Joseph’s Cindy Griffin and Saint Louis’ Rebecca Tillett, their oldest daughters going off to college didn’t mean less time spent together; it meant more.
Saint Joseph’s graduate student guard Kaylie Griffin is finishing her fifth season playing under her mom at Cindy’s alma mater, after redshirting her freshman year.
Graduate student guard Isabel “Bel” Tillett is in her fifth season playing for her mom, redshirting her freshman season at Longwood before following her mom to Saint Louis.
“Coaching her now, it’s just such a gift,” Rebecca told The IX Basketball. “I often tell parents, they’re saying goodbye to their kids when they go off to college. And I’ve had the fortunate experience to say hello to her for five years.”
Early basketball memories
Bel and Kaylie both described growing up in the gym with their moms. Rebecca coached at the high school level before taking an assistant coach position at Indiana University of Pennsylvania (Division II) in 2013. Cindy has been the head coach at Saint Joseph’s since 2001.
Kaylie’s earliest memories of basketball are rolling a ball back and forth in the gym with her younger sister, Hannah Griffin — who is now a junior guard at Holy Cross — while her mom led practice.
But neither Bel nor Kaylie say they felt pressured to play basketball. Bel played multiple sports before choosing basketball. Kaylie appreciates that, though her mom introduced her to the sport, Cindy allowed Kaylie to grow to love it on her own. She also played soccer competitively throughout high school.
Basketball was often on during Tillett family dinners, and the family would gather to watch the Final Four before Rebecca started going to them to attend the annual Women’s Basketball Coaches Association (WBCA) Convention.
Both Bel and Rebecca distinctly remember March 4, 2013, when No. 2 Notre Dame defeated No. 3 UConn in triple overtime.
“I think that’s what really made me love to learn how to dissect the game and really study it and watch different end-of-game scenarios,” Bel told The IX Basketball.
Eventually, Rebecca brought Bel with her to the 2017 Final Four in Dallas, where they watched a Morgan William jumper end UConn’s 111-game winning streak and advance the Bulldogs to their first national championship game.
Growing up, Kaylie’s second family was the Saint Joseph’s women’s basketball team, and her earliest memories of watching basketball were watching film on the couch with Cindy in their living room.
“She would always ask questions about this and about that,” Cindy told The IX Basketball. “And … we would always talk about the point guards and … what their role is, what their job is.”
Though Cindy isn’t sure if Kaylie started joining her living room film sessions to spend time with her or because she really loved basketball, Cindy says she thinks it turned into both.
As for what it was like growing up with a parent as your head coach, Bel says she enjoyed the experience and appreciated that Rebecca would ask her if she wanted feedback. Most of the time Bel would say yes, and the conversation turned to finding solutions, including discussing what she could do better to help her team.
Kaylie has only ever known her mom coaching at Saint Joseph’s, and she grew up with the familiar cadence of busy times throughout the year. When they were little, Cindy says she made sure to spend a day with each of her three kids individually before the season started to just be mom. When Kaylie got older, Cindy watched film of any of her games she missed.
Kaylie also explained that watching her mom balance being a coach and a mom showed her she could also be invested in both work and family.
A different recruiting process
Growing up alongside the Saint Joseph’s program, Kaylie eventually decided she wanted to be part of it.
“I knew it was bigger than just me playing for my mom,” Kaylie told The IX Basketball. “… Knowing the girls, and knowing everybody’s success and just how much of a family environment this is — and that really was my tipping point.”
Cindy wanted to make Kaylie’s recruiting process feel as normal as possible, though the COVID-19 pandemic complicated that.
Kaylie had done some unofficial visits, but from Cindy’s perspective, it eventually came down to whether Kaylie wanted to play for her mom or experience something different.
After showing Cindy a heartfelt slideshow on Mother’s Day, Kaylie handed her a card with a note at the bottom confirming she wanted to play for her.
“I think she went with knowing that she can contribute on our team … from a speed standpoint, from an athleticism standpoint, from a basketball IQ standpoint,” Cindy said. “And then obviously wanting to be a Hawk, and knowing what that means. … It was the greatest Mother’s Day gift that I got.”
Before Kaylie committed to Saint Joseph’s, Cindy would provide advice from a coaching perspective, without overstepping.
“That’s when she was like, ‘Okay, then I can be harder on you, because you committed, like, you made this choice,’” Kaylie said.
“Becoming Caitlin Clark” is out now!
Howard Megdal’s newest book is here! “Becoming Caitlin Clark: The Unknown Origin Story of a Modern Basketball Superstar” captures both the historic nature of Clark’s rise and the critical context over the previous century that helped make it possible, including interviews with Clark, Lisa Bluder (who also wrote the foreword), C. Vivian Stringer, Jan Jensen, Molly Kazmer and many others.
Bel wasn’t always sure she wanted to play college basketball and contemplated whether she wanted to be a regular college student. But she realized how special the opportunity was and decided she couldn’t let it pass her by.
When the time came to commit, Bel got Longwood’s assistant coaches on board with her plan to surprise her mom. The assistant coaches told Rebecca there was a puppy outside that needed help.
“They know me well, I’m gonna move quickly for animals and children, probably the fastest, anyone in need,” Rebecca said.
When she rushed outside, she didn’t find a distressed puppy, but instead, Bel standing in a raincoat. Bel unzipped the coat, revealing a Longwood shirt and committed on the spot.
“She gave me a big hug, and then she’s like, ‘Okay, I gotta get back to work. We’ll celebrate later at home,’” Bel said.
Rebecca doesn’t remember what the “pressing matter of the day” was, and the pair went on to celebrate with a family dinner. Once Bel began playing for her mom, she never looked back.
“Every little thing has meant so much to me, and I know, personally, I’ll never take it for granted,” Bel told reporters on March 7, 2025. “I know a lot of people don’t get to do it, so yeah, it’s just been one of the best things I’ve ever [gotten] to experience.”
Seeking advice
Though there’s no playbook on coaching your daughter, both Cindy and Rebecca received advice from people who had done it before them.
Cindy spoke with Quinnipiac head coach Tricia Fabbri and had Tricia’s daughter, Carly Fabbri, who played for and now coaches with Tricia, speak to Kaylie about what she had to navigate.
Rebecca connected with then-Virginia Tech head coach Kenny Brooks — who at the time had coached two of his daughters in college — at an AAU tournament after she was hired at Saint Louis in 2022.
“He said, ‘You know what, don’t let anyone steal your joy. This is such a gift to be able to have this time together at this phase in their lives,’” Rebecca recounted. “And he’s … [like, ‘You’re gonna] love it, and it’s gonna go fast.’ …”
“There’s only a few of us in the country that are doing it right now, but it’s special, I think, for every one of us that gets the chance.”
And it has gone quickly for Rebecca, who will always remember Bel as a champion. Winning three postseason championships — a Big South Tournament championship in 2022 at Longwood, and an A-10 Tournament championship in 2023 and a WNIT championship in 2024 at Saint Louis — with Bel has been one of Rebecca’s favorite parts of coaching her daughter.
“Especially with my mom, these are moments you’ll literally never forget, especially during such pivotal years of my life,” Bel said. “… Those three moments were definitely the biggest moments of my life so far.”
But postseason championships have only been three days of their lives. Bel’s favorite moments have been the regular occurrences, like coming to practice and working on mindfulness as a team.
The graduate season question
Coming back for a fifth year wasn’t an automatic yes for Bel or Kaylie.
Bel chose to wait until after the 2024-25 season ended to make her decision. She eventually realized she wanted more time on the court, still had more to learn, and wanted to play with the incoming players.
Rebecca also says Bel likely came back with the hopes of having a healthy year after being shut down for part of her last three seasons. She saw the work Bel put in to get into the best shape of her life, and has enjoyed watching Bel become someone who elevates the team on and off the court.
Cindy and Kaylie talked about transfer options, whether at the Division I or Division II level, that would allow Kaylie to play more minutes, as well as how transferring would impact her academic pursuits.
“In the long run, I think the academic piece took priority, and also just wanting to … finish strong here,” Cindy said.
Though her friends from the 2021 recruiting class graduated in 2025, Kaylie ultimately decided she wanted to return and see how she could grow on her own.
“They were all leaders in their own right, and I just wanted to see how I could grow and lead,” Kaylie said. “And I think that I’ve grown probably the most in this one year as a leader and as [a] person and just finding … out who I am.”
Cindy is most proud of how Kaylie has handled herself over the last five years, embracing each role she’s had.
“Her being a captain this year is kinda the epitome of what she really wanted,” Cindy said. “She wanted to be a leader. She wanted to help the younger guys, and she wanted to leave her legacy as one of the best leaders.”
‘A lot of legacy’
Celebrating the Hawks’ buzzer-beating win over Richmond in the A-10 Tournament semifinals together last season stands out as a cherished memory to both Cindy and Kaylie. Kaylie says she also cherishes the many moments they’ve shared during the last five seasons:
“It’s more of the little things that add up to just make me love her and understand her more and be grateful for her and what she’s given me,” Kaylie explained.
Cindy has been Kaylie’s role model as she’s grown up, and as she prepares to start her career after college basketball.
“Being able to see her be so successful, and hold her head high and I just think that that’s really what I just take away,” Kaylie said. “And it’s pretty cool to have your mom be someone like that and look up to someone like that and know that I can do that too.”
But Cindy is also glad she’s been able to give her daughter other successful women to look up to within the program.
“I think it has allowed her to be around some quality women — student-athletes and coaches — that she was able to learn from, not just her mom,” Cindy said. “And I think … that’s the most impactful [thing], I think, for her experience.”
Cindy’s favorite part of coaching Kaylie has been seeing the relationships she built with her teammates that will last a lifetime. That’s worth more to Cindy than anything a basketball season could give.
“[She] gave me four years of my best friends that I’ll have for life,” Kaylie said. “I always joke … she hand-picked my bridesmaids for me in the AAU circuit.”
If Cindy could go back in time, she’d tell herself to enjoy the moment and the process. Though she expected having her daughter on the team to be a different challenge, she wanted to make playing for Saint Joseph’s a great experience on and off the court for Kaylie and those around her.
“I think for both of us, it’s just a lot of legacy,” Kaylie said. “And I think that we both are so grateful for what this place has offered us and given us. And I think … what really means the most for her is that she could give that to me, in a sense, too.”
Order ‘Rare Gems’ and save 30%
Howard Megdal, founder and editor of The IX Basketball and The IX Sports, wrote this deeply reported book. “Rare Gems” follows four connected generations of women’s basketball pioneers, from Elvera “Peps” Neuman to Cheryl Reeve and from Lindsay Whalen to Sylvia Fowles and Paige Bueckers.
If you enjoy Megdal’s coverage of women’s basketball every Wednesday at The IX Sports, you will love “Rare Gems: How Four Generations of Women Paved the Way for the WNBA.” Click the link below to order and enter MEGDAL30 at checkout to save 30%!
Separating mom from coach
Before Bel came to Longwood, Rebecca had conversations with her players like she did about other recruits. She asked whether they thought they could handle having her daughter on the team, and how they felt about it.
Rebecca remembers Kyla McMakin, a player at the time and now an assistant coach at Saint Louis, saying, “Tillett’s so competitive [that] she’s not gonna do anything … that’s not best for the team.”
Bel’s future roommate, Kennedy Calhoun, did have some concerns during the recruiting process about how rooming with Bel would work.
“We’re talking about the roommates when they’re coming in as freshmen, and saying compatibility-wise, you and Bel might be really good roommates,” Rebecca told reporters on March 7, 2025.
“And [Kennedy], such a direct communicator and leader, says, ‘What if I’m upset with you after the game and I gotta go back to the room with Bel?’ And I was like, ‘Well, what I know about Bel is that you guys will probably be saying similar things.’ I said, ‘But you talk to her, and you see what you think.’”
Bel didn’t know that the conversation happened until a year later, and continued to room with Calhoun for the rest of Calhoun’s college career.
Sometimes her teammates aren’t sure whether they want to talk about something with Bel, and she reminds them that she gets mad at her mom, too. For Bel, it’s been about finding a balance, being open and saying what she’s comfortable with.
Bel has always called Rebecca “Mom” at practice, but this season, Rebecca has been called “Mom” more than in previous years.
“I actually asked my dad about it, because he coached both my brothers in high school soccer,” Rebecca said. “And he said one of his favorite years of coaching was a group of high school boys where a bunch of them called him ‘Dad,’ because both my brothers were on the team. And I feel that way with this team, too.”
Though Bel gets more ‘coach’ than ‘mom’ right now, Rebecca still makes sure she checks in with her as just her mom.
Rebecca says she believes Bel has handled being the daughter of the head coach really well, so much so that Rebecca is sometimes intentionally tough on her to remind the team that she also coaches her daughter intensely.
“There’s an expectation around here of excellence that we’re all chasing together,” Rebecca said. “So I can imagine that’s not always comfortable for her. I think she handles it really well.”
For Rebecca, the only difficult part of coaching Bel for the last five years is the preconceived judgments people make about how coaches coach their kids.
“I think any coach that’s ever done it, we work really, really hard to combat those narratives,” Rebecca said. “And I think what happens to most coaches’ kids is that it’s actually harder for them in many ways, because they just don’t get the same room for error that their teammate might get, because we know those perceptions are out there.”
There have been challenging moments for Cindy as she’s balanced being both ‘coach’ and ‘mom’.
“It gets fuzzy every once in a while,” Cindy said. “And I think that’s really hard, because you almost overcompensate, and she almost has to do everything perfect, because she’s your kid, and she should know better. But it certainly puts a lot of pressure on her. … It’s not always fair, but it’s kinda the way it is.”
Meanwhile, Kaylie explained how she has struggled with separating her coach from her mom.:
“Things become emotional, because … it’s just an emotional thing with, like [a] decision on playing or … getting yelled at,” Kaylie said. “Like, it’s hard to get yelled at by your mom in front of your friends. But I think I just put in perspective like … if I take this well, then my teammates will understand that this isn’t personal.”
Still, Cindy knows she can be hard on Kaylie, but also knows she can handle it.
“I do think that Kaylie was a good example for people to be resilient, be tough, be coachable, be able to transition from year-to-year and improve in areas if you put the work in,” Cindy said.
Though being mother and daughter is never really separate from being coach and player, Kaylie’s never called Cindy ‘coach,’ and has been able to create some boundaries. She doesn’t yell “Mom” across the gym, but, for example, will say it if she’s asking for a play one-on-one or close by. And when she goes up to Cindy’s office, it’s usually to see her mom, and when they’re on the court, Cindy is her coach.
Kaylie credits her teammates for helping to maintain those boundaries, saying “Coach said this” instead of “Your mom said this.” And she has never had issues with her teammates’ perceptions. “They see how hard she is on me,” Kaylie said. “They know that … there’s never something that I haven’t earned.”
Her teammates’ support has helped Kaylie over the years, and it’s gotten easier for her as she’s grown more confident in her place on the team. Though it used to be an insecurity, Kaylie now looks at it as a privilege to have had such a unique experience.
Cindy believes that Kaylie has helped show her players another side of her, that in addition to being a coach, she’s a mom first.
Looking toward the future
For Rebecca, the easiest part of coaching Bel has been nurturing the pure love for her teammates and the game of basketball Bel has always had. Rebecca has seen how much Bel has studied the game and how her passion for coaching has grown.
Bel originally wanted to be a sports agent, but after finding out they don’t get paid until after the contract is signed, she decided she needed another career path. After watching her mom and other coaches, and seeing how tiring but fulfilling coaching is, especially at the college level, she couldn’t think of a better career path.
Rebecca’s family is full of coaches and teachers, and she’s glad that Bel “still loves what teams can do” as Bel looks to teach and lead as a coach.
As a redshirt freshman ahead of the 2023 A-10 Tournament semifinals and championship game, Bel had the opportunity to help the scout coaches.
“That’s where her mind for being a future coach would come into play,” Rebecca said. “She would get four of an opponent’s plays in one possession to save our starters’ legs in the preparation. And I remember looking at an assistant coach at the time and being like, ‘Did you see what she just did?’ and the assistant coach [was] like, ‘That’s unbelievable.'”
“And then the scout coaches always want her to run the opponent point guard spot, because even if we are in a stressful moment as the scout coach going, ‘Okay, where does this person go?’ Bel remembers, and she tells them where to go and gets it to run smoothly.”
Bel would love to coach with her mom, and their tinkering and searching for new ways to make a team gel and connect is one of her favorite parts about playing for her mom. She’s taken more time this year to appreciate how special the time is.
Another thing Bel loves about being coached by her mom has been Rebecca trusting her in very high-pressure moments, like going in at the end of games to make the right pass or decision. Before Bel goes in, Rebecca will tell her something along the lines of “You got this.” After not playing as much early in her career, their time on the court together has been special for her.
Meanwhile, Rebecca has savored the small moments along the way, including Bel’s celebrations after winning a drill in practice, and conversations about strategy and team chemistry. Bel plans events for the team, and Rebecca believes that Bel’s gifts are having a team-first mindset, instinctively looking for ways to make the team better, and knowing what can help and hurt a team.
Rebecca also cherishes their quick halftime chats.
“She’s got great ideas, and I just don’t wanna miss those ideas and wait for them ’til the game is over,” Rebecca said. “So right before halftime, we’ll always be seen huddling a little bit, talking about, what did she see? What did she notice? And is there anything that I need to consider in how I’m coaching the game?”
Your business can reach over 3 million women’s sports fans every single month!
Here at The IX Basketball and The IX Sports, our audience is a collection of the smartest, most passionate women’s sports fans in the world. If your business has a mission to serve these fans, reach out to our team at BAlarie@theixsports.com to discuss ways to work together.
Meanwhile, Kaylie is currently working toward her master’s degree in drug development and industrial pharmacy and wants to work in cosmetic testing.
She’s not sure if she’d want to coach with her mom, and instead wants to forge her own path. If she did come back to coach at Saint Joseph’s, she’d want to wait a few years.
Cindy, on the other hand, thinks that Kaylie will eventually become a coach.
“It’s not gonna be a direct path, but I do think that she has so much to offer, and it’s just a matter of when,” Cindy said. “But, I think she’s gotta pursue her science field first and get that out of her system. But maybe I could be wrong. … She does have a science brain, and I think she’s very, very gifted in that area.”
The end of an era
With the season winding down, the Tilletts and Griffins are trying to enjoy the final stretch of time as player and coach.
After every game Rebecca watches film with the point guards, including Bel. More people have since joined the group and Bel has thought to herself how much she’ll miss it.
“It’s just a bunch of joy surrounded in that environment, whether it be on the bus or the plane, that’s something that … I’ll hold very near and dear to my heart,” Bel said. “And I wish I did more of it my previous years.”
Rebecca has been enjoying the moments with the team’s leadership council of Bel and graduate student guards Zya Nugent and Alexia Nelson, who all want to be college coaches.
“[I] don’t wanna miss any of these moments and know that eventually they end,” Rebecca said. “And so trying to soak all of ’em up together. We’ve had some fun team meals together. We’ve watched some videos together, read some things, and just soaking all of that time up.”
Kaylie has spent more time in Cindy’s office lately and is going to miss trying to outsmart her mom when they’re on different teams at practice.
Cindy is going to miss her daughter being around every day. As of mid-February, she hadn’t done anything differently to savor her final season coaching Kaylie, but kept telling herself she should.
She’s sure of one thing, though: “I’m gonna enjoy every minute coaching her.”
